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When I first read these words.. My first reaction was _Why couldn't you keep living, Robert_ Will I


trying to make a Positive Impact.. and keepin' it real.

​It's safe to say, over the past two years I've battled some of my darkest demons.  Waves of grief would crash in, swallowing my subconscious mind.  I've tried to find light and purpose through every tide.. coming or going.

I've learned.. better yet, RE-wired my view and the importance of balancing emotions, time, family, .. and just LIFE and actually living it.  

I may not look the part, but I know about hardships. July 15th 2016, I became a widow.  My barely 30 yr old husband left behind our two little girls and a memory that forever changed my views on life.  It's hard to bring myself back, but I will share a glimpse of troubled times. When Robert passed, I remember laying in an echoed muted fog. My mind was blank. It was like I, myself, was incubated, like Robert, only eyes opened and leaking.  Not even a cry, but a constant pour of sorrow.  Then CRASH!  A new wave would of darkness would parade down, leaving me careless and basically attributing the vibes of "Fuck it ALL!" I felt worthless in all aspects. I was losing money.. losing our house. I felt abandonment from every corner. You know what's so great though.. the will to survive and climb out of every depressed state that came my way.  It doesn't matter the time or hardships it took. I did it.  I realized my self worth. And that's huge!

I can sit here and write you story after story of the trial and errors that have presented itself in my life.. don't we all have that, though? Your story is different from mine. And that's OK. I think it is up to us, as an individual, to choose positivity, healthy habits, and happiness. Will I be sad at times? Heck yes! Will I be annoyed, hurt, angry, disappointed? Of course, but they are just MOMENTS.  And moments doesn't disciple where our Soul and self worth lies. Can I do this alone? I don't think so. What more can I say except, "Thank God for God!" I would probably be dead if I didn't have my faith, family, and friends.  Definitely fell short a time or 22,000, but hey we're human.

SO .. what led me to this?

Robert and I had a inshore and off the beach fishing charter business, AVID Charters.  (Actually, technically still own).  Long story short, due to the income loss, I had to sell the boat to help stabilize the girls and my living situation. During the first year, I may have battled some demons, but like I said before I always seemed to find a light in the darkness. I traveled, learning how big our God is while staring at the Grand Canyon.  Learning I could live again, while swimming a hidden waterfall gem in Hawaii.  It was when I returned, with the help of a great friend and mentor, I decided to start Body & Soul Bootcamp, which I recently renamed to theBalanced Body & Soul.. (too many people were getting scared of the word "bootcamp" not realizing the meaning behind it. haha).

So, why is it outdoors? 

May 29th, 2016 was the last day Robert was outside.  His surgery was scheduled for June 2nd, and I finally got him cleared for a 15 min assisted wheelchair  

tbc..gotta mom it.


I'll encourage you to drink 12 glasses of propur water and I'll cheers ya with a beer kombucha. Balance.

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